JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW...

JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW...
Tuesday, March 15, 2022 by Leona Choy

Recently I ordered 12 copies of a book written by someone else and mailed one to the parents of my grandkids and great-grands and a few close friends who have young children and grandchildren. I accompanied each book with the letter below personalized. I enclosed one of my recently published books Will We Need Cell Phones in Heaven? The letter is self-explanatory.

I want to tell you why I did this. When I was in third grade back in my hometown in Iowa, my maternal grandmother, Anastasia, died suddenly in her mid-fifties. I remember little about it except shopping with my mother for white dresses and hats and white shoes and socks for my cousin Martha and me to wear to the funeral. We were the same age and she was the grandmother of both of us. Then Mother took me to a photographer for a picture of Mother and me and my other grandma Frantiska, my Dad's Mom. We put it in a big frame.

I didn't have a clue what was happening. No one explained to Martha and me on our level where grandma Anastasia was or what happened to her. We thought perhaps we had been too naughty and Grandma had to go away. The families prevented us from going to the cemetery. We stayed home in the care of an older cousin--and her cat bit me. When everyone returned, they brought heaps of food. People seemed to talk and act as if nothing happened. I felt sad. But no one paid any attention to me. (I have no idea what the biting cat has to do with the story, but that's what I still remember.) And the silly white dress. I rebelled at wearing the stupid hat. In my memory, I still smell the heavy fragrance of baskets of cut flowers as we sat behind a screen with the immediate family during the funeral service.

I am blessed with four adult sons and their families which now include ten adult grandchildren and thirteen great-grands—the youngest is two years old. I want them to experience a better scenario about the loss of a loved one than the perplexing one I had. If there is some way I can help to facilitate that, it is time for me to do so. Matters like this should not be put off.

My letter:

“Dear sons, families of our grandchildren, great-grandchildren and some extended families,

“In recent years in our immediate and extended families, some of our youngest family members have already experienced the passing of at least five grandparents, an infant sibling, classmates, friends in their church family, and some friends who didn't survive Covid or other illnesses. Kids have questions and deserve honest, sensitive answers on their level.

I searched for a book from a Christian worldview to send you which would be at the understanding level of young children when a loved one dies. One that would include Suggestions for Parents. Out of many good books I reviewed, I chose as a gift for you, Someone I Love Died. It is interactive for the young child, realistic, and optimistic. The illustrations are appropriate for children.

Please read carefully the most recent of my published books: Will We Need Cell Phones in Heaven? I wrote it intentionally to explore the good news the Bible gives us about finishing life here on Planet Earth and moving with joy to Eternal Life with God. It isn't fiction. It is serious but happy. The best is yet to come! The “Kid Conversation” section in my book about the end of life is at the level of understanding of approximately ten-year-olds through pre-teen years. The remainder of my book can readily be understood by young adults and on through the adult years.

Death doesn't discriminate. Life is fragile at any age. 100% of us will die unless the Return of Jesus Christ to Earth occurs first. Our Christian faith provides clear answers from the Bible which give us joy and assurance and hope even in our sadness of temporary separation. What I enclose is what I believe. I hope it will help you to be prepared.”

If you find some takeaway idea or wish to adapt this to your circumstances, help yourselves. I enclosed with the books an article with additional suggestions for parents, educators, Sunday School teachers, and others who have the opportunity to come alongside children in times of loss of family and friends. If you would like an email copy, request one at [email protected]. In Christian families let's be responsible to deal with end-of-life issues sensitively and knowledgeably with our children.

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Comments

Cathy From Fincastle, VA At 3/16/2022 3:03:21 PM

Hello Leona ~ What a dear and caring thing to do for so many. Hopefully the books won't be needed in the near future, but as you've said we'll all die ... and I believe these resources will be helpful when comforting words are often difficult. Thank you for thinking ahead!

Reply by: Leona Choy

Be prepared is not only a Scout slogan. Also biblical in many different aspects. In your email, was your message an order for my CELL PHONES book or were you inquiring about the book that has to be ordered from amazon?

Carole McKinney From At 3/16/2022 11:06:50 AM

Our family was at the hospital several years ago saying goodbye to my husband,Ed, he was dying. My youngest granddaughter, Ashlyn, 6, got up on my lap, looked me in the eye, and asked "Is grandpa dying and is he going to heaven?" When I told her yes, she smiled at me and said "OK". Peace & comfort.

Reply by: Leona Choy

Beautiful, Carole. Hopefully this reminder will help people face our common "end times" event with sensitivity and joy for all, not just the little folks. As I write I pray for many decisions you may be making for relocating and all that goes with it.Is your health stabilizing? I still have the A-fib to contend with but bp is settling with meds.

Mary Frances Rompot From Fort Collins CO At 3/16/2022 9:58:26 AM

When my Grandma Blanch died I believe I was 9. My Dad Milver & Mom Lillian took me to funeral. I was so sad and confused not knowing what happened. My great great Aunt Mary I called her Thethta had me kiss Grandma goodbye. I was horrified. I loved and miss Grandma so very much. Mary

Reply by: Leona Choy

Dear Mary Frances, I know exactly what you are talking about. My grandma "Stasi" was your Dad Millo's grandma too.I remember Theth vividly, she was so close to your Grandma Blanch,almost like her mother. I remember every room in Grandma's house in detail(was it on 2nd street?)you lived in later.Whole neighborhood gone Will write you more by email.