“Do you want me to put your socks and shoes back on?” the sweet,
young podiatrist's assistant asked me.
It was such a simple, innocent gesture. I could still have done it myself, only it would take me longer. Harder to bend down, too. I had just finished my regular appointment to have anything foot-related attended to. “Sure, thank you!” I replied.
It caught me by surprise. I smiled and relaxed and let it happen. Well, why not? Full circle—I'm navigating my nineties now—second childhood some call it. I’ve been there and done that for years on end.
I had a flashback to when I was a toddler and my mother put my shoes and socks on because I hadn't learned to do it myself yet. Soon enough, however, I wanted to do everything for myself no matter how clumsily. It was the grown-up thing. Dependence turned to independence and being in control of myself for a long lifetime. Independence became a habit. I accepted that as the mature normal for adulthood.
Fast forward to the present. Suddenly, it seems, the decades flew by. The new normal of the advancing in age process is the decrease of one's capability and relinquishment of being in control of one's activities. Gradual dependence looms ahead. It's a simple fact that I need greater assistance in the physical areas of life.
At the same time, I resist being helped. I admit that I'm not as strong as I was, but I don't want to give up control. I want to stay competent and efficient. I want to remain independent. I want to stay strong. I don't want any help!
The facts are against all this. We progress from total dependence as an infant through the seasons of life to inevitable dependence in the last season of life. That's part of the aging package. We must embrace the reality road to serenity, to accept the things we cannot change; to change whatever we can, and wisdom to know the difference. The need for assistance looms high on the roster of things we must accept or else we will make ourselves and everyone else miserable.
I'm accustomed to quoting, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” That's not always true. We are also blessed when we have learned to receive. If we fail to accept assistance, we reject the natural order of things.
I dislike the four letter word weak. I have always been strong and in charge. There's a time to help others when we are young and strong; there is a time to let others help us when we become more frail. I don't like that word either.
My friend's husband is elderly and becoming unstable in his walking gait. His doctor strongly advised using a cane for balance. His male pride got in the way; he refused the cane, stumbled, and ended up in the hospital for hip surgery, then in rehab, and now is confined to a walker. He's the poster boy for our resistance to assistance. What a blessing awaits us if we accept help joyfully and thankfully! It is God who provides that through family and friends and caregivers!
Resistance to assistance has its parallel in the spiritual realm. We have an innate desire to micro-manage our lives, to “do it my way,” even spiritually. God's norm is that we should look to Him in all our ways, to lean on Him for understanding and for everything else, to accept His help because “without Me you can do nothing.”
The Lord offers us bountiful help and wisdom and blessings, if we admit to our need. It is in our weakness and leaning posture that we experience His strength.
The Rest of The Way
“You Have the Right to Remain Silent”
10/31/2019 2:38:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHO IS SHAKING MY TREE?
10/30/2019 5:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHO IS THE BOSS OF ME?
10/15/2019 10:37:00 AM by: Leona Choy
LORD, MOVE MY MOUNTAIN!
10/13/2019 3:11:00 PM by: Leona Choy
ANOTHER WAITING ROOM
10/11/2019 9:36:00 AM by: Leona Choy
DON'T BE SHEEPISH
10/10/2019 12:33:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE VALUE OF SELF-TALK
9/28/2019 3:59:00 PM by: Leona Choy
9/27/2019 12:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THANKS FOR THE MEMORY
9/12/2019 1:39:00 PM by: Leona Choy
CARRY ME, FATHER
9/5/2019 3:11:00 PM by: Leona Choy
MY PERSONAL SPIRITUAL WORKOUT
9/4/2019 10:55:00 AM by: Leona Choy
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?
9/1/2019 12:08:00 PM by: Leona Choy
Lessons from My Cup
8/20/2019 3:33:00 PM by: Leona Choy
STRAW & THE CAMEL'S BACK
8/7/2019 12:38:00 PM by: Leona Choy
BECOMING MORE "FRUITY"
7/10/2019 5:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
7/3/2019 2:27:00 PM by: Leona Choy
PITCHING IT RIGHT
6/30/2019 11:46:00 AM by: Leona Choy
“WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?”
6/25/2019 3:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy
34580 and COUNTING
6/18/2019 2:11:00 PM by: Leona Choy
MOUNTAINS AND MOLEHILLS
6/14/2019 9:54:00 AM by: Leona Choy
6/6/2019 9:52:00 AM by: Leona Choy
HANDS ON THE PLOW
5/22/2019 11:38:00 AM by: Leona Choy
WAITING FOR GRADUATION DAY
5/17/2019 3:46:00 PM by: Leona Choy
I THINK BOOKS
5/13/2019 12:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
ONLY TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL!
5/4/2019 8:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/18/2019 12:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/7/2019 1:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE?
3/31/2019 5:23:00 PM by: Leona Choy
EARTH SUIT vs SPACE SUIT: Increasing Tension
3/4/2019 3:37:00 PM by: Leona Choy
AVOIDING A SPIRITUAL "OOPS!"
3/1/2019 12:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
2/19/2019 1:29:00 PM by: Leona Choy
A THORNY MATTER
2/15/2019 10:42:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A SOMEWHAT GRUMPY CHAT WITH GOD
2/12/2019 9:54:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A FISH STORY
2/8/2019 3:40:00 PM by: Leona Choy
LET'S EAT NOODLES TOGETHER!
1/21/2019 3:07:00 PM by: Leona Choy
SATISFIED--A SECRET TO SHARE
1/11/2019 7:22:00 PM by: Leona Choy
12/29/2018 7:22:00 PM by: Leona Choy
RESISTANCE TO ASSISTANCE
12/6/2018 5:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
CHALLENGE OF THE FOURTH QUARTER
11/26/2018 3:19:00 PM by: Leona Choy
KEEPING A TRADITION
11/15/2018 9:14:00 AM by: Leona Choy
PUBLISHING FUND PROGRESS
11/5/2018 8:58:00 AM by: Leona Choy
"GOING STEADY" WITH MY "SUGAR CANE"
11/3/2018 2:02:00 PM by: Leona Choy
A SHOUT-OUT FOR A NEW BUTTERFLY
10/31/2018 3:24:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THANKSGIVING IN OCTOBER
10/7/2018 5:53:00 PM by: Leona Choy
9/30/2018 3:16:00 PM by: Leona Choy
SHINING WHEN YOUR BATTERY IS LOW
9/21/2018 5:32:00 PM by: Leona Choy
I DESERVE IT...DESERVE IT NOT....
9/13/2018 7:54:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
9/10/2018 12:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WAITING FOR GOD'S DUE TIME
9/3/2018 7:29:00 PM by: Leona Choy
STONES AND COVERUPS AND HOLY EARS
8/31/2018 10:44:00 AM by: Leona Choy
IT'S ALL ABOUT SHOES
8/29/2018 9:30:00 AM by: Leona Choy
THE HOLY SPIRIT IS MY CELL TOWER
8/27/2018 3:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
REJUVENATION GOD'S WAY
8/17/2018 8:49:00 AM by: Leona Choy
STUCK IN THE MUD?
8/13/2018 7:22:00 PM by: Leona Choy
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
8/8/2018 2:07:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHEN'S A GOOD TIME TO "EXULT"?
7/30/2018 3:00:00 PM by: Leona Choy
Survey For the Calendar-Challenged
7/25/2018 2:42:00 PM by: Leona Choy
7/19/2018 10:25:00 AM by: Leona Choy
BEDROOM SLIPPERS OR HIKING BOOTS?
7/18/2018 10:44:00 AM by: Leona Choy
Hurrah for the Prepper Bridesmaids!
7/13/2018 6:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?
7/10/2018 5:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
6/5/2018 2:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy