Yikes! My hard drive crashed! I thought it only happened to other people. Guess I’ve just been lucky. My first devastating thought was I've lost everything. No, just the past, but ALL of it: Whatever I have written to anyone, whatever I published, whatever I was in the process of writing, the unfinished, all the research and editing. How could I rewrite it all? I've virtually lost my memory!
After my blood pressure began to come back to normal, hope peeked its head above the imagined chaos and I began thinking more clearly. Maybe it was all still “there” somewhere and was wisely backed up by someone looking after me. Perhaps it was retrievable? Perchance I will see it again?
I spent (or wasted?) the next three days in “writers withdrawal,” staying out of my writing studio so I wouldn't grieve over the empty place beside my computer monitor where they had taken away the heavy, dead, black hard drive box with my “brain” to do an autopsy on it to answer the above speculations. My computer lay dark and silent as my fingers tingled with longing for the touch of the keyboard.
I prayed, I dared to hope. O Lord, how long will I have to wait to be notified either of the technological prognosis of partial recovery from what might have been a “near death experience” or the somber notification of the funeral and mental anguish and grief for what was no more, what was lost forever?
Meanwhile, back in the world of sanity and realism, to pass the time I began to muse about this ethereal aspect of memory loss in its various forms. I heard it said, “Your memories make you who you are!”
Not so fast! Is it a given that when a person’s memory begins to fade or disappears down Memory Lane, or wherever minds wander away and get lost, that you are less of who you are? Or that you are no longer who you were? That you are heading toward being marginalized or forgotten by others or less valued in your personhood? Does dementia or Alzheimer’s take away your worth in the sight of God? That all that transpired in your past which you can no longer remember doesn't count when the Eternal Records are open in Heaven?
That can't be true! God forgets nothing—except our confessed, forgiven, absolved, and “cast into the depths of the sea” sins. Those He “remembers no more.” Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice to remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. Who we are, what we have become, and what we have done in our brief lifetime is forever etched on God's memory and will be rewarded whether we can remember all or none of it.
Diminishing of memory is subtle and sneaks up on us ever so stealthily. First, we might start having “senior moments” when names of familiar people or places or things begin to escape us. Then we can't recall what we had for breakfast. (That's not important anyway, is it?) All the above is not necessarily the sign of a disease—simply a part of normal advancing mortality.
To use some computer analogy, it might only be that through the years we accumulated so much in our mental “hard disk” that our brains are in overload and we are just “deleting” some of the “rubbish” or trivia we don't need anymore. Perhaps it's a matter of making more room for important information of the Eternal kind. We may just need “rebooting,” giving more attention to what Scripture calls “the renewing of our minds.” Or to pay better attention to our nutrition and ramp up our quality or quantity of sleep. In any case, our memory doesn't suddenly disappear into thin air to be gone forever.
For some of us who are not experiencing noticeable memory slippage—YET—let's be understanding, patient, loving, and forbearing with those who seem to be headed in that direction. They still are who they always were, precious to God and to us. And let's express our appreciation to the Lord and say “Thanks for our memory,” for our eternal spirit given by God when He first breathed the breath of life into us. In the presence of God in Heaven, in His Storehouse guarded by angels, all that we are and have done and said is kept to be recalled and accounted for—and rewarded. God forgets nothing, even if we do. Nothing in Heaven crashes so completely or fades so elusively that it is irretrievably lost.
THANKS FOR GOD'S MEMORY
It's incredible how much I've forgotten
although when I did it
said it, saw it
wrote it, heard it
all was fresh and plain and clear
and I never had a fear
that I wouldn't be able to recall it
Some things I'd rather forget:
unpleasantness and failures
hurts to me and mine
and the pain I've given others
my sins, open or secret
and etched indelibly
in the storage disks of my mind.
MAJESTIC MASTER OF ALL SYSTEMS
IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, ALMIGHTY GOD:
You are far beyond my word processor
which conveniently and without error
ALL that I program into it
whether good or bad, trivial or trash
glittering gems of eloquence
as well as typos or blatant errata
even untruths and gibberish.
O DIVINE WORD PROCESSOR GOD
I esteem and appreciate
the compassion and mercy
of Your awesome memory process
to remember no more my transgressions
placed beneath the Cross.
I bless You for their loss for eternity
in the depths of the sea
removed from your monitor
as far as the east from the west!
Undeserving and unworthy
I applaud Your infallible memory
to remember forever
to record perfectly
and reward in eternity
my deeds done and words spoken
in Jesus' name
cups of cold water given
visits to the sick and the prisoner
an inn and care provided
for a battered one
the perfume of my praise
lavishly anointing Your feet.
MY THANKS FOR YOUR MEMORY!
So it came to pass that on the morning of the fourth day, there on my desk stood my new, slick, black hard drive by the side of my monitor—renewed, transformed, protected from viruses, plugged in, upgraded in its “inner man” to the latest version of Windows 10 with new technology guaranteed never to die the same kind of death evermore. “Resurrected,” as it were!
Am I doing a happy dance or what?
My past memory ALL retrieved, recovered, rescued, saved, no longer mourned, now rejoiced over. I'm thrilled and impatient and eager to resume the unfinished and pursue new directions—because Someone Eternal, God, was looking after me with divine oversight, and someone human and lovingly thoughtful (computer tech son Rick) backed up his mother's right-brain verbal magnum opuses and docs, files, manuscripts, emails et al.
Sing Alleluia to the Lord!
The Rest of The Way
Pacemakers and Pacesetters
8/10/2020 7:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
Bug Out Bags and More
8/6/2020 10:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
GIVE ME THIS DAY FRESH BREAD
8/3/2020 2:16:00 PM by: Leona Choy
FAMILY TREE HUGGERS
7/30/2020 11:17:00 AM by: Leona Choy
“WHO WERE YOU?”
7/27/2020 11:12:00 AM by: Leona Choy
WALKING WITH JESUS
7/23/2020 3:07:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHAT DOES MY COVID JOURNEY LOOK LIKE?
7/20/2020 3:05:00 PM by: Leona Choy
7/16/2020 10:20:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A TIME TO BE HELD
7/13/2020 11:23:00 AM by: Leona Choy
RUMBLE STRIPS AHEAD!
7/9/2020 10:50:00 AM by: Leona Choy
“WHATEVER IS LOVELY AND BRINGS PEACE...”
7/7/2020 10:49:00 AM by: Leona Choy
TO PLAN OR NOT TO PLAN
7/5/2020 7:25:00 PM by: Leona choy
MY OWN INDEPENDENCE DAY
7/3/2020 6:50:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHAT'S OUT THERE?
7/1/2020 11:51:00 AM by: Leona Choy
“FULL OF SAP AND VERY GREEN”
6/28/2020 5:25:00 PM by: Leona Choy
6/25/2020 2:42:00 PM by: Leona Choy
JUST FOR FUN
6/23/2020 1:18:00 PM by: Leona Choy
6/20/2020 3:49:00 PM by: Leona Choy
PRAYER IS NOT FOR SISSIES
6/18/2020 7:23:00 PM by: Leona Choy
MY KITCHEN TIMER SPEAKS
6/16/2020 7:49:00 AM by: Leona Choy
6/14/2020 3:45:00 PM by: Leona Choy
“US WOMEN ON OUR OWN”
6/12/2020 5:46:00 PM by: Leona Choy
PREPARING AN ETERNAL “NEST”
6/10/2020 3:29:00 PM by: Leona Choy
TENDING TO MY CATERPILLARS AND COCOONS
6/8/2020 10:37:00 AM by: Leona Choy
STILL LEAPING UPSTREAM
6/6/2020 2:58:00 PM by: Leona Choy
POKING HOLES IN THE DARKNESS
6/3/2020 11:27:00 AM by: Leona Choy
ARE WE THERE YET?
5/31/2020 9:14:00 AM by: Leona Choy
NEW WINE-SKIN PEOPLE
5/30/2020 10:22:00 AM by: Leona Choy
EARTH SUIT vs SPACE SUIT: Increasing Tension
5/29/2020 3:50:00 PM by: Leona Choy
ONLY A CHAPTER
5/28/2020 6:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
5/26/2020 7:21:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WEARY OR JUST TIRED?
5/24/2020 3:07:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WEARING PAJAMAS IN COMBAT?
5/22/2020 3:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
RETHINKING THE PREPPER MINDSET
5/20/2020 5:44:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE INTRIGUE OF ISOLATION
5/18/2020 3:08:00 PM by: Leona Choy
CONTEST OF THE CONDIMENTS
5/15/2020 3:41:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THOUGHTS FOR US “VULNERABLES”
5/13/2020 6:05:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHO WANTS TO PLAY STATUE?
5/12/2020 10:42:00 PM by: Leona Choy
5/11/2020 9:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
GIANTS IN OUR FAMILY TREE
5/8/2020 7:02:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHAT ABOUT THOSE GRASSHOPPERS?
5/6/2020 3:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
5/4/2020 6:23:00 PM by: Leona Choy
5/3/2020 6:02:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WRITE A TIME CAPSULE
5/1/2020 3:31:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/30/2020 3:02:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/29/2020 3:46:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/28/2020 2:37:00 PM by: Leona Choy
MY SURVIVOR ASSIGNMENT
4/25/2020 3:36:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/24/2020 3:33:00 PM by: Leona Choy
SURE, I'LL PRAY FOR YOU
4/23/2020 8:00:00 PM by: Leona Choy
MEANWHILE, WE GROAN
4/22/2020 3:50:00 PM by: Leona Choy
PARABLE OF THE DISORDERED EGG
4/20/2020 12:14:00 PM by: Leona choy
CHANTING THE PSALMS—A “JOYFUL NOISE”
4/19/2020 10:07:00 PM by: Leona Choy
OUR GREEN ROOM/GREENHOUSE
4/16/2020 10:41:00 PM by: Leona Choy
PSALMS IN COLOR
4/15/2020 5:49:00 PM by: Leona Choy
TV WATCH AND PRAY
4/14/2020 5:26:00 PM by: Leona Choy
JUST PASSING BY?
4/9/2020 3:08:00 PM by: Leona Choy
A SAFE PLACE ON THE ROCK
4/8/2020 5:09:00 PM by: Leona Choy
GETTING A GOOD SHAKING
4/7/2020 11:36:00 AM by: Leona Choy
THE UPSIDE OF DOWNTIME
4/6/2020 5:34:00 PM by: Leona Choy
ANNOUNCING! PANDEMIC READ-A-THON!
4/4/2020 8:14:00 PM by: Leona Choy
GOD'S OBSESSION WITH FRUIT
4/3/2020 5:09:00 PM by: Leona Choy
BLOOMING BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
4/2/2020 6:04:00 PM by: Leona Choy
GRAY CLOUD FOLKS
4/1/2020 9:15:00 PM by: Leona Choy
END OF THE STORY
3/31/2020 8:46:00 PM by: Leona Choy
RAVENS DELIVERY SERVICE
3/30/2020 9:45:00 PM by: Leona Choy
3/29/2020 9:58:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A DESERT FABLE
3/28/2020 11:06:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A PERSONAL MESSAGE
3/27/2020 11:49:00 AM by: Leona Choy
SURFING THE PANDEMIC WAVES
3/25/2020 3:54:00 PM by: Leona Choy
HOW ARE YOUR “WITS” DOING?
3/24/2020 3:38:00 PM by: Leona Choy
3/23/2020 10:32:00 AM by: Leona Choy
HUNKERING AT EAGLE SUMMIT
3/21/2020 6:02:00 PM by: Leona Choy
3/21/2020 12:14:00 PM by: Leona Choy
A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE
3/20/2020 2:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
HANDS ON THE PLOW
3/19/2020 3:27:00 PM by: Leona Choy
3/18/2020 11:59:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A NEW HAPPY DANCE
3/17/2020 10:20:00 AM by: Leona Choy
3/13/2020 12:36:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE RELUCTANT PILGRIM
3/11/2020 6:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE MYSTERIOUS "SELAH" WORD
3/9/2020 10:58:00 AM by: Leona Choy
MY CLAP OFFERING
3/8/2020 3:04:00 PM by: Leona Choy
ONE DOLLAR DAFFODIL
3/7/2020 1:11:00 PM by: Leona Choy
BOUND BY AN INVISIBLE THREAD
3/4/2020 9:43:00 PM by: Leona Choy
2/26/2020 12:15:00 PM by: Leona Choy
BEING OWLISH ABOUT WISDOM
2/24/2020 3:31:00 PM by: Leona Choy
"In the beginning..." before GOOGLE
2/22/2020 11:13:00 AM by: Leona Choy
PULLED FROM THE BRINK
2/20/2020 3:55:00 PM by: Leona Choy
APPLE OF HIS EYE
2/9/2020 12:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy
SINGING HER WAY HOME
1/31/2020 3:33:00 PM by: Leona Choy
1/24/2020 9:31:00 PM by: Leona Choy
PLATFORM, PODIUM, PULPIT OR PEDESTAL?
1/17/2020 1:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy
BUCKET LIST AGAIN?
1/12/2020 5:33:00 PM by: Leona Choy
IN SEARCH OF A MAKEOVER
12/31/2019 12:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
12/30/2019 1:32:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE MYSTERY OF TIME
12/28/2019 9:21:00 AM by: Leona Choy
2020 MY RENEWED EAGLE YEAR
12/26/2019 11:02:00 AM by: Leona Choy
Post Surgery Report
12/3/2019 3:30:00 PM by: Leona Choy
11/23/2019 8:49:00 PM by: Leona Choy
“You Have the Right to Remain Silent”
10/31/2019 2:38:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHO IS SHAKING MY TREE?
10/30/2019 5:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHO IS THE BOSS OF ME?
10/15/2019 10:37:00 AM by: Leona Choy
LORD, MOVE MY MOUNTAIN!
10/13/2019 3:11:00 PM by: Leona Choy
ANOTHER WAITING ROOM
10/11/2019 9:36:00 AM by: Leona Choy
DON'T BE SHEEPISH
10/10/2019 12:33:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE VALUE OF SELF-TALK
9/28/2019 3:59:00 PM by: Leona Choy
9/27/2019 12:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THANKS FOR THE MEMORY
9/12/2019 1:39:00 PM by: Leona Choy
CARRY ME, FATHER
9/5/2019 3:11:00 PM by: Leona Choy
MY PERSONAL SPIRITUAL WORKOUT
9/4/2019 10:55:00 AM by: Leona Choy
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?
9/1/2019 12:08:00 PM by: Leona Choy
Lessons from My Cup
8/20/2019 3:33:00 PM by: Leona Choy
STRAW & THE CAMEL'S BACK
8/7/2019 12:38:00 PM by: Leona Choy
BECOMING MORE "FRUITY"
7/10/2019 5:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
7/3/2019 2:27:00 PM by: Leona Choy
PITCHING IT RIGHT
6/30/2019 11:46:00 AM by: Leona Choy
“WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?”
6/25/2019 3:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy
34580 and COUNTING
6/18/2019 2:11:00 PM by: Leona Choy
MOUNTAINS AND MOLEHILLS
6/14/2019 9:54:00 AM by: Leona Choy
6/6/2019 9:52:00 AM by: Leona Choy
HANDS ON THE PLOW
5/22/2019 11:38:00 AM by: Leona Choy
WAITING FOR GRADUATION DAY
5/17/2019 3:46:00 PM by: Leona Choy
I THINK BOOKS
5/13/2019 12:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
ONLY TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL!
5/4/2019 8:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/18/2019 12:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
4/7/2019 1:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE?
3/31/2019 5:23:00 PM by: Leona Choy
EARTH SUIT vs SPACE SUIT: Increasing Tension
3/4/2019 3:37:00 PM by: Leona Choy
AVOIDING A SPIRITUAL "OOPS!"
3/1/2019 12:06:00 PM by: Leona Choy
2/19/2019 1:29:00 PM by: Leona Choy
A THORNY MATTER
2/15/2019 10:42:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A SOMEWHAT GRUMPY CHAT WITH GOD
2/12/2019 9:54:00 AM by: Leona Choy
A FISH STORY
2/8/2019 3:40:00 PM by: Leona Choy
LET'S EAT NOODLES TOGETHER!
1/21/2019 3:07:00 PM by: Leona Choy
SATISFIED--A SECRET TO SHARE
1/11/2019 7:22:00 PM by: Leona Choy
12/29/2018 7:22:00 PM by: Leona Choy
RESISTANCE TO ASSISTANCE
12/6/2018 5:17:00 PM by: Leona Choy
CHALLENGE OF THE FOURTH QUARTER
11/26/2018 3:19:00 PM by: Leona Choy
KEEPING A TRADITION
11/15/2018 9:14:00 AM by: Leona Choy
PUBLISHING FUND PROGRESS
11/5/2018 8:58:00 AM by: Leona Choy
"GOING STEADY" WITH MY "SUGAR CANE"
11/3/2018 2:02:00 PM by: Leona Choy
A SHOUT-OUT FOR A NEW BUTTERFLY
10/31/2018 3:24:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THANKSGIVING IN OCTOBER
10/7/2018 5:53:00 PM by: Leona Choy
9/30/2018 3:16:00 PM by: Leona Choy
SHINING WHEN YOUR BATTERY IS LOW
9/21/2018 5:32:00 PM by: Leona Choy
I DESERVE IT...DESERVE IT NOT....
9/13/2018 7:54:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
9/10/2018 12:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WAITING FOR GOD'S DUE TIME
9/3/2018 7:29:00 PM by: Leona Choy
STONES AND COVERUPS AND HOLY EARS
8/31/2018 10:44:00 AM by: Leona Choy
IT'S ALL ABOUT SHOES
8/29/2018 9:30:00 AM by: Leona Choy
THE HOLY SPIRIT IS MY CELL TOWER
8/27/2018 3:47:00 PM by: Leona Choy
REJUVENATION GOD'S WAY
8/17/2018 8:49:00 AM by: Leona Choy
STUCK IN THE MUD?
8/13/2018 7:22:00 PM by: Leona Choy
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
8/8/2018 2:07:00 PM by: Leona Choy
WHEN'S A GOOD TIME TO "EXULT"?
7/30/2018 3:00:00 PM by: Leona Choy
Survey For the Calendar-Challenged
7/25/2018 2:42:00 PM by: Leona Choy
7/19/2018 10:25:00 AM by: Leona Choy
BEDROOM SLIPPERS OR HIKING BOOTS?
7/18/2018 10:44:00 AM by: Leona Choy
Hurrah for the Prepper Bridesmaids!
7/13/2018 6:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?
7/10/2018 5:35:00 PM by: Leona Choy
6/5/2018 2:01:00 PM by: Leona Choy